I’ve many times inhabited a box. Sometimes knowingly, but more often than not, I didn’t have a clue.  Or I could say I didn’t see the clues around me. The physical boxes are the easiest to see.   I’ve been in some doozies.

  I’ve been trapped in coral rocks while free diving, survived many storms at sea, been held under gunpoint, beaten almost daily in a military school, sexually abused, drunk more than I thought that my liver could ever handle, survived two plane crashes, nearly died of hypothermia,  hit by lightning whilst standing in a puddle (and then thrown unconscious 15 feet away), ripped off big time by a best friend,  abandoned a sailboat at midnight in hurricane conditions then climbed to safety up the side of a tanker 400 miles from land, drank poisoned water and nearly died while hiking alone on the Appalachian Trail, and more. Way more.

  But what’s important is not where I’ve been, it’s about where I can go. Where we can all go.  It’s about getting back to the powerful, connected, courageous, authentic, loving being that I AM. It’s about getting out of the boxes that were put upon and accepted by each of us or built by us. It starts with a desire to be more, to grow to expand into our dreams and desires.  It may arise from dissatisfaction, from frustration, from deciding that you no longer will be ruled by your small self, your wounds, or your past. All these are wonderful signs that you are ready to be more than you were up to this point. It’s your soul sending you a message, reminding you that you only have so much time. You’ve got this life, now. 

The most difficult boxes to get out of are the ones we don’t know about, that we are not even aware that we’re in.  The places in our lives where we are clueless. It may be obvious to nearly everyone else, the hardest stuff to see is our own stuff, right? We may not know that there is even a box there!  These are the ones which enclose and steal our lives; our potentials.  They convince us to give up just before we break through. We know the voices. We all have them. They may have originated from others, from places so far back you don’t even remember.  It’s been said that true hell is looking back on our life and seeing what we could have done, who we could have been.  Those “could haves” are painful realizations seen too late. They are the choices and awarenesses not acted upon right now!  Whether by courage, anger, frustration, or inspiration, resolve to act. To meet this life with the whole of your being, to become that greatness that sits inside ourselves; smothered by lies and fears. 

 Beliefs can often be an innocent compilation of lies. Innocent or not, they literally stop us from who we can be. Insidious poison-like thoughts or beliefs which whisper that we cannot do or be who we want to be, or need be. Some of us may think that which confronts us right now is impossible.  Even worse, that if such a task were possible, You would not be the one who could do it; or that it wouldn’t matter, even if you could. These thoughts, once engaged, take us away from what we truly are. I know. I’ve entertained these razor sharp thoughts in the living room of my own brain. They have held me back from being who I came here to be. They had cut me–partitioned me, into a smaller me.

In this life, I’ve had a lot of titles, many different job descriptions. I’ve been praised and I’ve been cursed. I lived a life full of miracles, yet I’ve also lived with much pain. I now live a life of peace, but it has been peppered with past disasters.  I have lived on a series of sailboats, captained a 60-foot schooner and a 52-foot ketch for charter. Delivered yachts  to and from South America to Canada.  I’ve owned three different airplanes. Studied as a shipwright and worked on wooden yachts. Owned an aerial photography business, been a licensed: massage therapist, boat captain, commercial pilot, and also performed weddings as a minister. I am a fine artist, and have sold hundreds of thousands of dollars of my art; but I have also ground boat bottoms,  ground asbestos, inhaled resins, installed sprinkler systems, dug ditches for the county, and been a janitor.

 Rest assured; I have dreamed big dreams. Many of them have come true, some are still in process, unfolding as we speak.

 It’s all about awareness and choice.  They are inextricably linked.  Choice-wise, I’ve made some really good ones, and some that were not so Lovely–or loving.   At those times (Oh yes, there’s been more than a few times) I wasn’t even aware that I had a different choice.  I was just surviving, running along and taking the either/or path. That’s not actually a choice at all; but I didn’t know that at the time.  At those times, there was not an inkling of creative thinking involved on my part. I didn’t even know that I didn’t know. Too bad they didn’t have blogs back then. It might have saved me a lot of time..

 Henry Ford said, “Thinking is the hardest work there is. That’s why so few folks do it.”

 Just the simple knowing–that we have a choice can interrupt an unconscious behavior pattern.  There’s many ways to change or interrupt our patterns.  The habitual patterns that literally control who we are.  I remind myself daily that I always have a choice!   I remember to remember to choose. Choose how I am going to be, and how I am going to perceive things that day. After a while, it’s a habit. 

 Here’s a brief video (Thank you, Kevin Lorden*) of me explaining my thought processes while painting:

*Kevin Lorden produced, shot, and edited this video. As you can see, he is a total pro.